The Legit Pros and Cons of Wedding First Looks 

The great wedding debate: should you do a first look at your wedding or not? Like most things when it comes to your wedding, there’s no right or wrong answer. But, there are some pros and cons to wedding first looks.

And as a wedding photographer, who has seen couples have a freaking blast doing it both ways, I’m gonna tell you what you might love or hate about doing a first look on your wedding day. That way, you can decide whether or not it’s the right move for you.

Let’s f*cking go. 

Hold up, What is a Wedding First Look, Anyway?

A wedding first look is when a couple sees each other for the first time, after they’ve gotten ready, but before they’ve gotten married. 

It’s the big reveal moment that some couples make sure fits into their wedding day timeline, so they can see each other for the first time in private (and stare in awe at each other’s beauty without an audience). 

And, before we get to the pros and cons of wedding first looks, wedding first look photos can be in-freaking-credible. 

Why Some Wedding Photographers Push Doing First Looks 

A lot of wedding photographers heavily (too heavily) encourage their couples to do a first look before their wedding ceremony because it can make your wedding timeline a little smoother. But. Logistics are NOT a good enough reason to do a first look! 

If you don’t want to do a first look, that’s so okay. And something your wedding photographer should be completely okay to work around. 

(One of the first questions I ask my clients as a wedding photographer is how important doing a first look is for them, so I can give them ideas, help fit it into their wedding timeline, or talk about the pros and cons if they’re still debating whether or not they want to do one.)

The Cons of Wedding First Looks

Not Getting Your Long-Term Dream

The majority of my wedding couples who decide NOT to do a wedding first look do it for one simple reason: they want the big reveal to happen at the altar.

So if either you or your partner has been dreaming of that moment when they get to see you for the very first time as one of you is walking down the aisle… that’s a perfectly good reason to skip having a first look at your wedding. It’s your freaking day after all, so you get to do whatever the hell you want!

(But, just because you have a first look doesn’t mean you can’t have a dramatically emotive ceremony as well.)

Your Peeps Won’t be Part of It 

If you decide to do your first look in private, everyone you invited to your wedding won’t be there. (Duh!) While that might actually be a reason you’d want to do a first look, it’s something to consider in case having your friends and family around during the big reveal IS important to you two.

(But, you could always invite everyone who is helping you get ready to be nearby for your first look, too!)

You Might Have To Get Ready A Little Earlier

Doing a first look adds time to your pre-ceremony timeline because you’re frontloading some of your wedding day photos. However… you usually get that time back when you aren’t having to do the wedding party and immediate family photos during cocktail hour. 

(There are timeline examples coming your way later in this blog post!)

It Might Change the Vibes at the Altar

If you’re wanting to save alllllll of your emotion for the altar, skipping a first look on your wedding day could be the way to go.

But honestly? I don’t think this is a major con for doing a first look because A) there shouldn’t be any pressure for you two to get emotional in front of everybody. And B) my couples who get emotional during their first looks usually get emotional at the altar, too. 

Again, though, it’s really about what feels right for you.

The Pros of Wedding First Looks

Spend More Time Together

As a wedding photographer, I see this pro being the main freaking reason so many of my couples choose to do a wedding first look… because they want to spend as much time together as humanly possible. 

(Since you’re seeing each other as soon as you’re ready, you get to spend the rest of the time before your ceremony together.)

Some of my cool-ass couples have chosen to bop around Philadelphia together after their first look, do a fun activity (like head to a record store or go get ice cream all fitted up), and then headed to their ceremony together.

It Might Help with Nerves

Wedding days are big deals and lots of peeps get the wedding jitters… Which is why having your person around, who hopefully chills you out, can be super helpful. Having a first look means you get to lean on each other (and get hyped together) starting earlier in the day.

Can Have an Emotional Moment in Private 

Another pro to doing a pre-wedding ceremony first look? You can get hella emotional without worrying about anyone else being around. (Besides, your wedding photographer, if you want them there.)

You can do private vows, exchange gifts, or say things that you wouldn’t want your whole family to hear. (Like maybe you use different pronouns or go by a different name with your partner, but aren’t out to your family.)

Can Be More Present for Your Ceremony 

Something you don’t really think about is how, if you don’t do a first look, you two won’t have a chance to talk to each other until after your ceremony. (Because you can’t casually yap during your “I dos.”)

Doing a first look means you can talk before your ceremony so that during your ceremony, you can focus on what your officiant is saying and the vows you’re sharing (if that’s your jam).

You Get More Wedding Photos Done Earlier (and Get to Enjoy Cocktail Hour)

Another big pro for doing a wedding first look? You two will most likely be able to take all of your immediate family wedding photos and wedding party photos before the ceremony. Which means that after the ceremony, when cocktail hour rolls around, you can kick back and relax. 

Here’s How a First Look Shapes Your Wedding Timeline

Taking first look wedding photos doesn’t add a wild amount of time to your wedding timeline, it just changes when you take the wedding photos you take. 

So, Should You Do a First Look at Your Wedding… or Nah?

Now that you’ve read the pros and cons of wedding first looks, hopefully you feel hella good about deciding that for yourself. 

But if you’re still feeling torn, here’s another opportunity to vibe check if doing a first look on your wedding day is right for you. 

Doing a first look is probably the move for you if:

• You want to be with your partner for as much time as possible on your wedding day
• The idea of a quiet moment alone, together, sounds amazing
• You want to spend cocktail hour doing fake tattoos (or real!), downing mocktails (or cocktails), or just not sweating the photos
• You know you’re gonna be nervous, and having your person with you would ground you 
• You want to exchange something (vows/gifts/whatever) that feels too personal for a bigger crowd
• You don’t mind if your peeps aren’t there for the big reveal 

Doing a first look might be the WRONG move for you if:

• You’ve been dreaming of the aisle moment since you were, like, 2
• You’re cool with doing photos with family and wedding party peeps during your cocktail hour 
• You’d rather have a super slow, super chill getting-ready morning, and maybe start getting ready a little later
• You want everyone you invited to your wedding to be a part of the big reveal
• You’re cool to wait to talk to your person until after your ceremony

Point is, if you’ve been Googling, “do I need to do a first look at my wedding?” Absolutely not. But if you want to, hell freaking yes. 

And btw, there are alternative wedding first looks ideas that are cool AF too:

1. Do a gift exchange around the corner of a hallway so you get to be with each other, but don’t “ruin” the big reveal. 

2. Do a first look with someone else. (Like your kids, family members, or your bridal party.)

3.  Do a first touch and sit back to back with your eyes closed. 

4. Do a first look, but don’t get totally ready. (Maybe you leave out your dress or tux, show up with your hair still unfinished, or whatever, so there’s still some element of surprise.)

5. Do a first “contact” where you read each other letters you wrote for before the ceremony or send each other a special voice memo.

And those are just a few fun first look wedding photos ideas, but feel free to dream up some banger ideas of your own. 

If You Need a PA wedding photographer to capture your first look photos (or your big reveal at the altar)… 

Hi, I’m Kylee, a non-traditional PA wedding photographer who lives for snagging photos of people having an absolute blast. If that’s what you’re looking for, let’s chat. 

If you liked this blog post, check out:

• My podcast: For Those Who Don’t Know Me (for engaged couples and fellow photogs/wedding vendors)
• 12 Unique Wedding Venues in Philadelphia for Fun AF Couples
• Inclusive Wedding Vendors: How to Find Peeps Who Celebrate the Hell Out of You
• 19 Dope Personal Touches to Make Your Wedding Feel Like You
• How to Pick a Wedding Photographer: Tips and Questions to Ask